I really think it's time for a much-needed change in my life right now! I'm so tired! Ahaha.

 

Things are still floozy, very floozy. But my stubborn-ass heart just doesn't know when it's time to give up. Only reason why I'm back here so soon is I wanna get the neeerves off my chest.

 

Currently cozily seated at my desk, listening to The Weeknd's Die For You and Khalid's Young, Dumb And Broke that's blasting on the speakers of our office TV, trying to finish It Ends With Us to give myself a sense of accomplishment.

 

I'm saying all that as if I didn't just have a hysterical crying fit yesterday, ahaha. Sigh. I wish things would get better for me now. I know, at the back of my heart, Allah has me. He's gonna take care of everything and I should just sit back and relax. I know all that.

 

It's just that I'm eventually still human in the end, and humans are weak. I'm weak and emotional so I just cry to myself everytime my sadness gets triggered again.

 

I hope things will get better for me soon. I won't say much because I don't want to get my own hopes up that things will change soon. I can't think like that, I have to have lots of sabr. I hope God will lend me strength and sabr until then.

 

Remember the nerves I mentioned in the beginning? Yeah, they're not just from the emotional trainwreck that is my everyday life, they're also from my upcoming JPJ test. Tomorrow.

 

Yes, tomorrow as in right after today.

 

It'll mark whether I get my license or I have to spend an ungodly amount of money repeating said test.

 

I'll get the results on the same day, right after.

 

Needless to say, I'm absolutely horrified.

 

All the days of me hoping I get to drive my own car leads up to tomorrow. I really hope it'll be a smooth journey for me. AHHH!