(It seems like all of my recent posts have been about me being sad, haha. I’m sorry!)

Today has been a bummer. A major one if you ask me. I’ve just came back from a camp and the funny thing is that the camp was meant to empower you, and the very next day it’s over I’m so lethargic and  want to forget all about it. Lol.

It was hell, truly. Slept for 3 hours a day for 2 days. My poor little eyes.

But honestly, today sucks. I kinda want to disappear from everything for a while — or do I just want everything to disappear from me? Hm.

Not to sound ungrateful, but I just really don’t like myself at all today. Even though I’ve been through many ups throughout my life, I just cannot for the life of me stop thinking about my downs. I feel like a total loser, haha.

I don’t envy other people for what they achieved (in fact, you guys probably deserve it) but I just wish I had the chance of getting some recognition in my life (god, I sound like such a pity party). Fun fact: for as long as I can remember, I rarely get praises for the things that I’ve done. I’m not seeking for attention, it’s just that I do notice how my family acts whenever my siblings get anything versus me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wanna be the center of attention — it’s just that being second to things most of the time kinda sucks (read: really).

So that’s how I’m the way I am today: desperately wanting some form of approval. Sobs.

I really don’t wanna dwell on it for long, I should be grateful for what I achieved but I’m just not okay right now. I’m certainly not asking to feel this way but I can’t help it. It’s okay to not be okay right now.

(God I have my finals in a week, I need to start reading.)